Do You Boo!

Shout Out to Everyone Who is Out Here Doing Their Best! (starts clapping)

Word to the wise:NEVERlet anyone tell you that your best is not good enough!  People tend to project onto you what they feel you should be doing with your life yet,  they don’t hold their own selves to those same standards.  Yes, we are supposed to push, support and cheer those in our village on but forcing ones unrealistic expectations on another person just isn’t right.  Actually, its a form of manipulation that can create a toxic environment within a persons life.  As always I’ll use myself as an example…. for far too many years I’ve let the opinions of others and what they expected of or from me influence the way I lived my life.  I sometimes would even have to dumb myself down in order to fit into the box people insisted on putting me in and because of that I missed out on opportunities because they weren’t what other people would have approved of.  I was scared that if I did what I wanted – went after my dreams, I would be rejected by those whom I thought had my best interest at heart.  As time went on, those expectations from others began to cause the mental delirium (confusion) I was suffering from.  Because I have always lived in the shadows of others,  it took some time for me to see who Joslynn really was.  I was busy trying to be the best christian, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, friend, mentor, step-mom, employee, etc., that I didn’t know how to be the best me for me.  That was a hard pill to swallow but I’m just glad I finally woke up and saw the light.  I swallowed that pill and a few others, chased it with a shot of Effen (vodka) 😉 and began the journey of finding myself and some inner peace.

We all have our own dreams and goals for our lives and it’s hard enough trying to achieve them but when you begin to tie your life to what others expect of you, life begins a slow downward spiral to chaos and craziness.  Trying to live up to the expectations of others instead of your own will surely cause your mental psyche to be in disarray because you will NEVER be able to meet the bar they hold over your head.  Most people are trying to live out their dreams or what they wished they did in life through you.  They will have you running in circles chasing their expectations all the while you will be loosing yourself in the process.  A lot of parents push their children to be what they want them to be which most of the time is what they wish they had accomplished.  We hear stories all the time of children rebelling and even taking their own lives because of the unrealistic expectations their parents have put on them.  This happens to adults as well – even some clergy members have cracked under the pressure of trying to living up to the expectations of others.  Now don’t get me wrong,  there is nothing wrong with wanting your children, family members and friends to be great in life but its another situation when you try and force them to be or do something that is not what they desire or even in their power to.  See what a person’s passion is, introduce them to new things and then help cultivate their natural born creativity.  We have to let people find their own way and just be the support system they need whenever and in whatever capacity they need.  That’s how a good support system works.

Here’s a Word from Crys….

Take a look at those you feel are the closest to you and ask a few questions.  When you need their support are you met with excuses or are they there willing and able to do whatever you need them to at that moment? Do they only support you when you are doing things according to their standards?  Are they critical of you when you are doing your best or are they cheering you on, giving you the motivation to keep pushing no matter what?  Do the work, be honest with yourself and then make the necessary adjustments with people as you see fit.  Be careful who you have in your inner circle because those spots should be reserved for people of influence – everyone isn’t there to benefit your life!  As I’ve navigated through the craziness of life, my circle of influence has changed dramatically, mainly in the number of people in it.  Those whom I hold close to my heart are people who have proven that their love and support for me goes beyond anything I can do for them.  They are people that I don’t have to talk to everyday but when we are in contact it’s like we’ve never missed a beat.  After talking to or visiting with them, my spirit is uplifted and I am encouraged to keep pushing – they inspire me to be better in all aspects of my life.  I’m excited when I see their name pop up on my phone or I see them posting on social media because the connection we have surpasses the superficial things in life.  We ride the waves of life together and we help each other navigate the highs, the lows and those times where there are no words to describe and yet we never look at one another any differently.  No matter what’s going on with each other, we always find the light in the situation and we make sure we are refilled and ready to continue on the journey.  Again, I encourage you to seriously take inventory of your circle.  You may need to move some people around or just move them out all together in order to find that peace of mind you very much deserve.  You only get one life…. make sure the time you have left on this earth is meaningful to you.  Everyone will not support you but that doesn’t mean that you have to dull your light because hunny let me tell you… they will not dull theirs for you!

Live! Sparkle! Love! Shine!